women & porn addiction

Silencing the Ache Within

I have been feeling very unsettled the last few days,
not knowing the reason why.

It wasn’t until today that I remembered
these are the same kind of feelings
that would once drive me to look at porn.

I have had this raw, deep feeling of emptiness,
loneliness and discontentment over the last several days.
I have felt unfulfilled and unsettled.

I spent some time in prayer about this,
wondering if the Holy Spirit was trying to get my attention…

It was only today that I realized
God is allowing me to feel this deep ache once again,
so I will draw in even closer to Him.

There is more.

There is always a deeper place of intimacy to be found with Him.

While I used to go looking for porn during times like this,
now I know the depth of what I’m feeling
can only be filled by Him.

Only God can fill that place in me that yearns for
something so much more than this world offers.
Sometimes I feel like I must be the only one who
feels everything so deeply, but I know that can’t be true.

Do you have that same deep ache that won’t go away?
Maybe you are able to fill it or numb it temporarily,
but it always comes back.

(And it comes back with a vengeance.)

Over the past few years,
I have experienced an intimacy with the Lord
that I didn’t even know was available for me.

It’s what I was always searching for
when I sought out more and more porn,
when my heart cried out for something
so much deeper than anything I could grasp.

God can fill that void in you
that seems too unholy to be even touched by Him.
He can fill that place
that you have tried to fill and numb with
everything else.

There is an intimacy waiting for you
that you can have with Him
and only Him.

(It’s amazing.)

He’s waiting for you.

Tell God you want to know Him
in this intimate way I have just described.
You don’t have to know how to “do this”.
He will show you the way to His heart.

This may make you feel nervous
and quite apprehensive.
That’s ok.
I have felt the same way.

Don’t let the shame that so easily engulfs you
keep you from what your heart is really after.
This is for you.

This is it.

I promise you…
This is what your soul is aching for.

1 thought on “Silencing the Ache Within

  1. Amen sis, this is exactly what he is wanting from us, intimacy, I had this same problem. … thank God for delivering me, but sometimes that spirit tries to come back and I notice the feelings on the inside of me and quickly have to get in the presence of God. …

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