women & porn addiction, women & same-sex attraction

Pursuing Wholeness

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what healing looks like. If you’re a Christian and need healing from past abuse, trauma, oppression of any kind, addiction, depression, fear, self-hatred, rejection, anxiety, strongholds, etc, what does complete healing look like?

Jesus has healed my heart in ways I never knew was possible before. For example, when I first began the process of healing from a pornography addiction several years ago, healing looked so different to me. I was at a place of not actively looking at pornography anymore, but I was constantly filled with fear of being tempted by something. I was afraid to look at the wrong thing, see something in a movie that would trigger something in me I didn’t want to feel, etc. I wasn’t actively looking at porn anymore, but my mind was still actively engaged in it.

When you look at pornography long enough, you really don’t have to ever look at it again to conjure up pictures in your mind. In the beginning, I thought healing went no further than the ability to stop physically looking at pornography and the hope that I would someday become less pre-occupied by it. I had no idea that healing could consist of so much more.

Years down the road now, I can see that my definition of healing along with the stage of healing that I’m in now is very different. It’s not something I fear anymore, nor is it something that consumes my thoughts often.

Healing for me is much more than “dealing” and “suffering” and learning to live with the effects of past pornography use. Many of those images in my mind have been erased. I didn’t go through any kind of brainwashing and I wasn’t hypnotized to make them go away.  Jesus took them away. No, it didn’t happen overnight. It took me a long time to truly believe that if Jesus is my healer, then He can heal my brain of all the poison I once put into it, too.

Jesus can make me brand new.

Part of “me” includes my brain, which means He can “re-wire” my brain the way it was intended to work…the way He created it to work. He has already been doing that. Jesus has never done anything to provide a permanent band-aid for me. He does something so much better. He heals. Once a wound is healed, a band aid is no longer useful.

This healing has come in numerous stages for me, but I must say it is much deeper than I ever realized possible.

Little by little – step by step – layer by layer – He has been healing and restoring me.

Jesus can do so much more than just help us deal with things.  Often, this is how healing begins, but He doesn’t want us to stop there.

Complete healing consists of wholeness.

Jesus is able to make me whole, and that is what I’m after. Little by little I am getting there, and I’m seeing so much hope as I move closer to it all.

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

Are you pursuing wholeness through Jesus? He can restore you from the inside out.

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